if you like me you must not know who I am
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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