i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
