the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
