i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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