Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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