She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
