At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
