Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
