My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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