i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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