I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize