i barfeds in our rink
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
