at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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