well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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