the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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