i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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