It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
