She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
