im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
