If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
