I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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