This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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