He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
