Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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