69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
