And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
