She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
