We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize