my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
