She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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