We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
