You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize