her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
this will be a night to untag.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
