when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize