2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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