that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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