I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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