there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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