We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
