hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
