i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
