You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
