I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
