The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
