he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
