FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
