dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
