i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
