Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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