he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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