I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
