We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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