she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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