and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize