dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
