What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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