Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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