it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
