HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
