And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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