its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
