Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
