If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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