The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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