it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
